NEWFAZE

I get by with a little help from my friends

Posted on August 1, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

1 August, 2013 I get by with a little help from my friends

This week begins “official” training for B2B2013. B2B, a.k.a. “Beach 2 Battleship” is the 140.6 mile (“Iron Distance”) triathlon I do each autumn in Wilmington, NC. This is my sixth consecutive year racing in Wilmington, and I completed that distance each of the five years before that. Three times in Durham and twice in Maryland. Although it’s referred to as a “race,” for me it’s more accurately described as a moving meditation. Just like my training. There is no stress or anxiety involved, only constant forward motion. For slightly over fourteen hours (my fastest year) or just under sixteen hours (my slowest year). Now that training time is here, I’m excited. I love my annual ritual. I’ve done shorter distance triathlons since 1987, but Iron Distance is by far my favorite. If you’re slow and stubborn (I’m slow and stubborn) it’s a very rewarding experience.

This year, as I do more every year, I am enlisting my friends to help with training and, most important, motivation. An early start is crucial, and my friend David helps with that. He’s an early riser and we hang out early three mornings a week. So I can get to the pool later! My friend Ethan is an avid bike rider and he’s training for the Anthem Moonlight Ride in a few weeks. So I’m doing my first training rides with him! I have two short “runs” early in the week so I incorporate my canine friends Roux (thanks Alex!) and Lucy (thanks Lee and Kara and Hanna and Nora and Owen!) and of course Mackey and Turner to help with that. One longer (1.5 hr) solo run and I’m off to a great start – with a little help from my friends!

I have a few pictures from before the last post that I didn’t use, plus a couple of new ones. Most Richmond summers by August things are brown and dry but we’ve gotten lots of rain this year and it’s colorful and bright.

I got a nice looking picture of a pollen-covered bee in my backyard in late June:

Busy bee!

And a nice gar at the river:

Lurker

This was still late June; I’ve shown a few of these to friends already. There was a nice honeysuckle with a bug:

Graceful honeysuckle and a bug

And a beautiful morning glory, also with a bug:

On the inside looking out

The gar and the honeysuckle (with bug) and the morning glory (with bug) were all the same morning as this, a huge raft of water striders (more bugs!):

Just standing around… on the surface of the water!

In July this delicate gladiola bloomed in our dog-pummeled backyard:

So delicate it’s hard to believe it can survive with my dogs.

I’ve been trying to get a good picture of a Queen Anne’s Lace (a.k.a. Wild Carrot); this one (the picture, not the plant) is adequate but not superb. I’ve never eaten one but next summer I may try. I’m reading up on how to identify them. They’re all over the place. You have to get young ones early in the year for them to taste any good. This one’s okay:

Delicate looking weed

Evie’s birthday was in July! I’m a widely recognized terrible-present-chooser so we went out to eat four days in a row. Thursday we went to Fresca on Addison, a regular stop on our dining-out-route. Because it’s close and cheap and delicious. And the people who work there are superb. And they have vegan cupcakes that are so delicious I become a desert-vegan while I’m there. How they make frosting that phenomenal without butter is beyond me but wow. The next night it was Lemon Cuisine of India, another favorite. The food is superb there, and very reasonable, and every employee is excellent. Saturday we splurged and went to Lemaire at the Jefferson; if you’re going to splurge, Lemaire is the place to do it. I’m on a strict once-every-other-decade schedule there; I’m already breathlessly anticipating my next visit around 2025, give or take. We took a shot in the dark for our final day of celebration and both went for the first time to Portico in Goochland. We had brunch and of the four meals it may have been my favorite. It could be because I’m a brunch-lover from way back, or it could have been the incredible meal, or the outstanding service, or the incomparable location – take your pick. I can hardly wait to go back. I have a picture or two from each event.

Thursday, July 18, Fresca:

Their slogan: “We’re not vegetarian – we just don’t eat meat.” But oh my goodness you have to try that place out. It is beyond compare.

Friday (actual birthday), Lemon:

Lemon Cuisine of India – Best Indian food in Richmond – and best service!

Saturday, Lemaire:

You can’t go wrong at Lemaire

And we concluded with Sunday brunch at Portico:

If I could only go back to one of the four places, I’d go to Portico – it was a treasure.

I slipped and missed a July blog post! I’ll do three in August. Until my next one, enjoy,

Jay

PS An addendum. Some of you may recall that Ivory and I did a lot of Animal Assisted Therapy at VCU’s MCV and a few other places. Thanks to our friend Barbara, Mackey and Turner have had an opportunity. They bring a different sensibility to the experience, but one thing transcends – the happiness of the person getting the visit. I’ve spent a lot of hours doing this, and it’s win/win/win – the person getting the visit wins, the dogs win and I win. Here’s something a person gave me years ago when we were visiting a lot:

Unconditional positive regard

Posted in Dogs, Endurance, Flowers, Fun, People, Rivers, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 4 Comments

What are the odds…

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

18 July, 2013 What are the odds…

Forgive this experimental post (please!).

I’m learning new WordPress features. Learning how to insert a triptych. After a fashion. The first is of my cat lounging on my bed. His name is Dash. He likes high places (e.g. the bed) because the dogs don’t go there. By the way, with my triptychs, you can click on the individual pictures and they become much larger:

: Lazy boy

: VERY lazy boy

: Still a lazy boy

Back to where I began this post:

If you know me you’ve heard me use that expression (What are the odds…) before; I’m sure I overuse it. Also a friend tells me I sometimes tell a story “the Talumudic way,” e.g. make a short story long. What can I say.

Anyway, when we were young and living in Maryland we were visited regularly by our Aunt Kathleen from New York. From Manhattan really, and although she was born in the late 1800’s in northern Kansas she always seemed like a pure Manhattanite to me. She still does. She died in 1990 but I knew her relatively well growing up. As a graduation present from eighth grade – this would have been 1974 or 1975 – I got to go to New York and stay with her for a week. She was a reporter at the United Nations and lived across the street from Dag Hammarskjold Plaza in Manhattan. We walked over to the UN one day and she showed me around. The little headphones that UN representatives could listen in on and have speeches translated into their native tongue. She wrote a book that was at our house throughout my childhood and I never read it! So – getting to the “what are the odds” part – I looked it up and found it used on Amazon! It was published in 1954. But that is not odd – you can find anything on Amazon. I’ll insert first a picture of the cover:

New Life in Old Lands –
Kathleen McLaughlin, 1954

Then the back of the book:

My lovely Aunt Kathleen

But now (finally) to the “what are the odds” part. The book arrives in my mailbox in July of 2013 and I find this inscription:

“From the writer
to the reader –
good wishes.
Kathleen McLaughlin
New York, Jan. 3 – 1955″

So when she wrote that, my Dad was nineteen years old. It was six years before I’d even be born. She was in her middle fifties. After she wrote that my Mom and Dad would get married, my brothers and sisters and I would be born, I’d spend several Christmas vacations with her at our home, etc., etc., – and fifty-eight years later it comes to my house. So, so cool. Anyway. What can I say.

One more triptych, this one a few cloud shots I’ve taken recently. I’m reading a lot about weather and these are just lovely:

: Sunset clouds

: Over downtown

: Blue skies white clouds green trees

Wait – one more thing to add – a video by a band called The Orb: “Little Fluffy Clouds”

I have lots to learn about triptychs. One more plain picture (kind of a cool one) then a quick story then I’m off! Got this nice shot at PP on Tuesday morning:

Beautiful and an engineering marvel

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I’ve mentioned my counseling teacher Moe. And that he often spoke and taught in parables. He told us one early on that guides me still.

A man was walking along a rice paddy and he saw a horse standing in the water eating the plants. He knew it shouldn’t be there and he shooed it up on the path. No halter or bridle or harness or brand or identifying feature. The man encouraged the horse to walk and it did. They’d come to a fork in the path and the horse would choose one direction and the man would follow. Occasionally it would wander back into the rice paddy. The man coaxed it back to the path and it walked again. This went on for some time – the horse choosing paths, stopping to eat, being coaxed to move forward again. Shortly they rounded a corner and there was an open gate. The horse walked through the gate and started down the path. A man ran out of the house and cried “how can I ever thank you – you brought my lost horse home! How did you ever find us?” The man who found the horse said “He knew where he had to go – I just helped him stay on the path.”

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Moe was a good guy. I was fortunate to have him on my path.

Have a great day,

Jay

Posted in Dogs, Endurance, Flowers, Fun, People, Rivers, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 12 Comments

Summer and more (a lot more)

Posted on June 23, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

23 June, 2013 Summer and more

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“Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment.” – Pema Chodron

“Wherever my travels may lead, paradise is where I am.” – Voltaire

I was thinking of those two quotes last Tuesday (June 18) while Evie and Lou and I were driving on 95 south toward Richmond. We’d been to my Dad’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery earlier. Between the traffic and the rain, the 100 mile drive took nearly five hours. But it was paradise to spend the day with my family and friends and the loving memory of my father. And it was paradise to ride in that car with Evie and Lou. I was thinking about the path to enlightenment. Whatever is happening. I’ll go back to that.

It’s the first week of summer now, but some readers may recall I’ve done a couple of posts about how the flowers and animals have been bursting forth this spring. The day before yesterday was Friday, June 21, the first day of summer. I leave the house around 6:30 AM on Fridays and I was sitting at my computer reading the New York Times. The window is to my right and something moved in the front yard and I looked up and saw this!:

In my front yard! Near Regency Square! Wow! What a treat on the first day of summer!

I was amazed and delighted. If you don’t know where I live, trust me – there are no deer in this neighborhood. There are gas stations and fast food restaurants and convenience stores in five minutes walk in any direction. One friend saw this picture and said “so pretty – a great surprise!” and another “Cool!!” A third wrote “not a good thing. Destroys shrubbery.” In my opinion, this street has too much shrubbery and not enough deer – I don’t mind the balance tilting a bit.

I saw the enlightenment quote in a magazine somewhere and photographed it for later. The Voltaire quote I saw on the wall of Project Yoga Richmond (PYR) when I visited with Evie a year or so ago. PYR is a nice place; Evie teaches a class there each week. Here’s a little info about Evie’s class: Evie’s class (!)

Speaking of summer, both of my brothers were born in July. One was born on July 20. Which, if you are unaware, is the anniversary of the first day a human being (Neil Armstrong) walked on the moon. It was 1969, about a month before my eighth birthday. As I’ve gotten clearer moon pictures, I’ve studied my lunar geography. In the picture below you’ll notice two large, dark circles connected. The one on the left is the “Mare Serenitatis” or “Sea of Serenity” and the one on the right is the “Mare Tranquilitatus” or “Sea of Tranquility.” Notice how “Mare” sounds like “marina” or “marine” as in “marine life” or “marine mammal?” In ~1650 when they first looked at the moon through telescopes, people thought those were oceans. The Sea of Tranquility is where Apollo 11 landed and Neil Armstrong walked. I remember sitting in the basement of our home in Silver Spring, MD, watching it on our giant color TV in that giant wood cabinet. Forty-four years ago this summer. Wow.

The Sea of Tranquility, and more

For some reason I see more barred owls at Pony Pasture than any other bird of prey. More by a very large margin – it must just be right for them. I see them every year, always near the parking lot. Evie and the dogs and I were walking back to the car this morning and this one swooped right over our heads. And landed in a tree right next to the trail! Fun picture:

They sure do look wise. I’ll be the first to admit. But cute too, for certain.

In 1992, my Dad turned 57. He was healthy and happy and so were we. But he wrote a “Letter of Instruction” that was to “make clear my wishes and intentions for the end of my life.” What followed was six single spaced pages of my Dad’s inimitable style of communication, leaving zero to chance. He signed it “with all my love, always,” Warren M. McLaughlin, also known as “Mike” & “Dad” and the “D” in “Dad” had a smiley face inside it. This ceremony, like the one at Rescue 15 in Bridgewater the week after he died, went off without a hitch – as he intended. A lot of his and Mom’s friends were there, and many of our friends, and all of his grandchildren – it was a fine time. I’m writing all this perhaps to explain why eighteen people who loved someone are at his funeral – smiling from ear to ear.

Some of Mom and Dad’s friends from Bridgewater were there, and their friend Becky from Rescue 15 gave us a beautiful photo album. She sent 68 (!) fantastic pictures and I didn’t even notice she had a camera! My Dad was a retired commander in the US Navy and his funeral was at Arlington National Cemetery. He was cremated (his wishes were explicit) but they use a casket anyway. I never pictured a funeral as an enjoyable experience, but Dad went to great lengths to make it that way, and wow. There it was.

Here’s a phrase Dad wrote in his Letter of Instruction over twenty years ago: “c. Honors: Talk this over with Katie [my older sister] and anyone else who might bring children. IF weather is decent, and IF grand (or other) children will be there, I want “Full Military Honors” complete with horses, caisson, band, etc.” At the time he wrote that, he had one married child and two grandchildren. One was three years old and her sister was not yet a year old. As a result of Dad’s two decade old instructions we had this:

Note the horses, caisson, etc. The band was on the side.

And this:

Full military honors. That’s my Dad’s ashes in the white box. Incredible.

And because Dad was Dad, we had this. I won’t list each of the eighteen people in the picture. But it’s my Mom, my two brothers and two sisters, all of our significant others, his five granddaughters, his cousin Neil, and our friend Shane. Our friend Shane baptized Kevin in 1965 – and conducted Dad’s funeral. As requested, unsurprisingly, in Dad’s 1992 letter of instruction:

That picture is worth about a TRILLION words. I’m wearing a tie of my Dad’s. For those of you who have never seen me in a tie.

This post veered a bit after I began writing. I feel the way I felt at his funeral – it’s hard not to smile. Boy did that ever work out the way he planned it.

All best,

Jay

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Posted in Fun, People, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 10 Comments

Spring Madness Revisited

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

13 June, 2013 Spring Madness Revisited

This is what this spring has been:

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fecund |ˈfekənd, ˈfē-| adjective

producing or capable of producing an abundance of offspring or new growth; fertile: a lush and fecund garden | figurative : her fecund imagination.

• technical (of a woman or women) capable of becoming pregnant and giving birth.

DERIVATIVES fecundity |feˈkəndətē, fiˈkən-|noun

ORIGIN late Middle English: from French fécond or Latin fecundus ‘fruitful.’

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fecund adj.

1. a. Capable of producing offspring or vegetation; fruitful: “The smell of mud, of mush, the primeval smell of fecund earth, seemed to sting our faces” (Joseph Conrad). b. Characterized by or suggestive of fertility: “Deep in the end of the back yard, the blossoming peach tree shone like a celestial sentinel. The fecund air lavished upon their faces the tenderness of a lover’s adoring hands” (James Agee).

2. Characterized by intellectual productivity: a fecund mind.

The Editors of the American Heritage Dictionary (2011-11-01). The Essential American Heritage Dictionary (Kindle Locations 102455-102463). Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Kindle Edition.

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It’s been two months since I posted “The Flowers Bloom Like Madness in the Spring” and the pace hasn’t slowed even slightly. The dogs and I were at Pony Pasture last week and I saw more deer than I’ve ever seen at once, and I’ve been hiking there for ages. And seen lots of deer. But last week was a madhouse. It was the first time a deer ever ran toward me, which surprised us equally. It’s rained a lot and the heat has never been withering and there are a lot of living things. Plant and animal. Snakes like mad. Cicadas, of course, although not at Pony Pasture. The creeks are filled with fish, I see bigger ones every time I’m there. Turtles and birds and flowers. I’m also spending more time at Bryan Park than I have in the past and it has a group of birds (and some turtles and frogs) that I don’t see often at Pony Pasture.

I’m not well organized, but I have nice pictures. A few anyway. I took a recent favorite at the gas station of all places. I love mockingbirds and there was one on the curb and I took a bunch of shots and got this. It’s truly a lucky shot; this is cropped out of a corner. It looks intentional but it’s about an eighth of the original shot. Pretty picture anyway:

So happy to get this shot. (Lucky too!)

My friend Kim I have mentioned before is a wildlife illustrator and wrote “Presumably it’s [the wing-spreading behavior is] used to startle bugs into leaping out of hiding.” Wikipedia says “While foraging, they frequently spread their wings in a peculiar two-step motion to display the white patches. There is disagreement among ornithologists over whether this behavior is used specifically for getting prey to reveal themselves. There have hypotheses ranging from flight braking to its intended use for adults when they encounter predators.” I’m fifty-one years old and that’s the first time I’ve ever noticed it. Very cool and lucky!

I’ve also only put one video on a blog post, back in January (Terrific Whistlers). That was a fireplace; this one is water! The river, specifically.

I took a moon picture in late May but I’m working on some better ones. The moon was (as you see) enormous in this picture:

Enormous late May moon

Sassafras was all over the place at camp and at the cabin when I was growing up. It was just part of the scenery at camp but at the cabin I made tea a time or two. I think in hindsight just so I could say I’d made sassafras tea. But it tasted good with sugar. If you’re in the woods, you 100% cannot mistake it for anything else. And you can just pull little sassafras plants out of the ground and wash the mud off the roots and boil it for a while and add sugar and you will totally know why it tastes so good. If it was carbonated it would taste a lot like root beer. I was parked in western Henrico and there was some in front of my car. See how distinctive it is? All sassafras has three different types of leaves, all three shown here: one with three lobes, one with two (looks like a mitten) and one that’s just a plain old leaf. You’ve probably seen it – it’s everywhere:

Unmistakably sassafras

Since I mostly like to photograph outdoors, I don’t get a lot of pictures of Dash, our stay-at-home (my choice, not his) cat. This is him engaged in his favorite activity (sleeping) in his favorite place – the most recent cardboard box. He loves the UPS driver. I put this larger box on the floor and he jumped right in. A few days later the smaller box came along and I put it inside – and he immediately hopped in that one:

Two boxes are better than one

A beautiful rose from my yard:

I cannot tell a lie – I inherited these roses from the person who lived here before

Honeysuckle is my favorite flower. I did a fifty mile bike ride in May and I smelled honeysuckle and privet and multiflora rose for every single pedal stroke. Just wonderful. All these years I’ve seen white and yellow honeysuckle and wondered a little bit about the difference. I’m a somewhat partial to the white but I love it all. Anyway, I looked it up this year (can you even believe it took me that long?) and learned it’s the same flower! Honeysuckle starts out white and as it ages turns yellow. Very cool. Very, very lovely and the fragrance is spectacular:

A flower I will never tire of seeing or smelling

All of these flower pictures, by the way, wouldn’t be possible without some pollinators:

Getting a drink from the river!

I mentioned recent trips to Bryan Park earlier. Last week I saw these pretty barn swallows; I never get tired of them:

Elegant

And this shy phoebe:

Hiding behind a branch

And this mammoth snapping turtle!:

Wish I’d gotten a picture of the whole turtle. His (it just wasn’t feminine) head was nearly as big as mine

Wow – too many pictures! This toad is from PP. Isn’t his (having a hard time seeing these as female) camouflage remarkable?:

Blends right in

I can’t leave the hydrangeas off; they’re blooming right outside my bedroom window. They don’t smell but they’re so pretty:

I have so many pictures – maybe I just need to do another blog post soon! I’ve left off mulberries (from my yard), clover (from everywhere), beautiful bugs (likewise) and even a handsome barred owl from PP. Magnolias, I have spectacular magnolia pictures. This spring began wildly and it’s only gotten wilder. Plus nice pictures of Turner and Mackey. Maybe another post very soon. Until I get organized, have a great day!

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I first met Moe (mentioned last month) when I took his Individual Counseling class early in my graduate school career. This was in the mid-1990’s. I didn’t know then that he often spoke in parables. They were never long and invariably pithy. When he got to the end of his first one – the first one I recall, anyway – I kept waiting for him to finish. Not knowing he was finished. I’ll try to reproduce it here. Briefly, the way he told it. Some people have heard me say “that’s why they call it ‘The Present’.” Because it’s a Gift. This parable is about that.

So there’s this guy running through the jungle. He’s running for his life; tigers are chasing him. He’s running out of energy. The tigers are fast and strong; they’re drawing closer. He only has a few minutes before they catch him and eat him. He bursts into a clearing. Twenty yards away is a cliff. The jungle is behind him; the tigers are coming up fast. He runs to the cliff and looks over. A thousand feet below, waves smash jagged rocks. A few feet below the ledge is a strong branch. Behind him, the tigers burst from the jungle. In desperation he climbs over the cliff and grabs the branch, hanging just out of their reach.

He looks a thousand feet below. Waves are bursting over the rocks. He looks a few feet above. Tigers are waiting to gobble him up. He sees next to him on the branch a perfectly ripe, ruby red cherry. He pulls it off the branch and pops it in his mouth. How sweet it is.

I leaned forward expectantly. Waiting for the story to end. At that point in my life, I didn’t realize that this beautiful moment is all I need. I was (am) slowly learning.

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Posted in Flowers, Fun, People, Rivers | 13 Comments

Flowers, birds, bugs and more

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

23 May, 2013 Flowers, birds, bugs and more

But mainly flowers, birds and bugs. Spring becomes more summer-like each day and everything is moving faster. Remember – if you’ve seen this blog before – the pretty frog picture I posted in mid-April? The post was Froggie? I took that picture when the air and the water were cool. That makes frogs move slow. When my buddy and I walked up that frog was not interested in moving off his warm perch. We walked by the same spot at Bryan Park last week when it was close to 90º. The moment we came in sight that frog disappeared into the water with a loud splash. Reptiles and amphibians are moving much quicker. The plants are doing what plants have always done, and the bugs are in their usual state. There are big patches of lily pads at Bryan Park and last week they had bright yellow flowers on them. I took some pictures from a long way off and when I got home I saw this bug:

Bug exploring a lily pad flower

Later when I came home – speaking of bugs on flowers – I found this attractive neighbor climbing our side fence:

Neighbor dropping by for a visit

This happens often; I’ll look closer and see something odd in the picture. Look what comes in sight on closer inspection:

One neighbor brought along another!

There are plenty of flowers that are just gorgeous on their own. They get lots of help from bugs (with pollination, etc.), but the only thing currently helping this beauty was the past night’s rain and the morning sun:

Isn’t this just gorgeous?

I’m going out on a limb here. But we hear a lot – a whole lot – about climate change. I’ve only heard bad things about it. But there are some good or neutral things too. I may be seeing statistically predictable variations that I just haven’t noticed in the past. But I’m seeing things (in this case, a bird) at Pony Pasture that I’ve not seen in the past. Maybe they’re here regularly and I just haven’t seen them, but this was a first for me in 10+ years of bird watching down there. Unimpeachable sources (thanks Evie and Kim and Lynda and Katie and Gilpin!) tell me this is a Spotted Sandpiper. I enjoy this description from The Cornell Lab of Ornithology: “The dapper Spotted Sandpiper makes a great ambassador for the notoriously difficult-to-identify shorebirds. They occur all across North America, they are distinctive in both looks and actions, and they’re handsome.” “Dapper” – isn’t that a fun word?:

What a dapper ambassador!

I don’t normally care for photos I consider sloppy. But I enjoy this one. There was a pair of mallards walking in front of us on a path at Pony Pasture the other day. I got a few cute pictures but mallards are a dime a zillion. I knew they would take off as the dogs got closer and I thought I might get a good picture. I didn’t get a good picture at all. But this came out neat. Notice the “landing gear” being retracted?:

Fast takeoff

At camp I loved barn swallows. They flew around all the time but I don’t see them often these days. But I was at Bryan Park the other day with a buddy and was gratified to see one sitting (for a moment) on a slender limb. The sun was wrong (for me, not for the bird) so the picture’s not a beauty. Maybe I’ll get another. They’re lovely, graceful birds:

Barn swallow

If you’re unfamiliar with barn swallows and you look at that picture, you’re still unfamiliar with barn swallows. You have to see them fly to fully appreciate them. But here’s a semi-silhouette of the bird pictured above to give a better idea:

Petite and elegant and graceful

A lovely female (you can tell by the blue on her wings) tiger swallowtail from the Pony Pasture parking lot:

Beautiful female tiger swallowtail (females have blue on their wings)

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23 May, 2013 Sage

My father taught us to recognize wisdom. To learn when we could. Dad was a wise, wise man. I’ve had many other wise teachers. I spend time with great teachers nearly every day. In my Masters program I had a particularly wise professor for my Individual Counseling class and my Group Counseling class. It was through him that Ivory and I got involved in Pet Therapy, and I met many more wise teachers.

Moe was my professor in both counseling classes.

We often think of ourselves or of others in terms of “strengths and weaknesses.” Moe encouraged us to think in terms of “strengths and areas for improvement.” That’s a much more open-minded and accepting way of viewing ourselves. It’s inevitable that when we’re more accepting of ourselves, we’re more accepting of others. Make no mistake – acceptance is contagious. When we feel more accepted, we become more accepting. There is no down side.

I’d intended to write more about Moe – he was a fantastic story-teller. But I want to put up this post. I’ll write some of his parables in future posts.

He helped me out after I’d graduated and had me meet up with a couple of his students. Some were exploring creative paths for counseling careers and Moe wanted me to talk with them. We’d go out for dinner in the Fan and shoot the breeze – it was always a great experience. He loved Joe’s Inn. I wanted to introduce Evie to him and I googled him a couple of weeks ago and was dismayed to find his obituary. He wasn’t a young man and I was unsurprised to read it but it’s still too bad. I’ve reproduced some of it here so you can get an idea:

Moe, father, teacher, friend, counselor, and craftsman, passed away early Sunday, July 3, 2011, at his home in Richmond, VA, after a long battle with lung cancer. He was 67 years old when he died, sharing his enthusiasm for life with those around him even in his last days. He is survived by his son, his daughter, his son-in-law, his granddaughter, his brother, and his sister. Warren, known as “Moe” by many of his friends, was born to loving parents, and grew up in Glassboro, NJ. He maintained strong connections to the area through family members; and his long-time companion. He was a well educated, but unpretentious man, who received his B.A., his M.A., and his Ph.D.. A Professor Emeritus in the Department of Rehabilitation Counseling at Virginia Commonwealth University, he authored more than 60 publications in the areas of rehabilitation, counseling, and psychology. He was a licensed professional counselor who worked as a rehabilitation counselor and as a mentor at university counseling centers. In addition to his love for helping others, Warren had a love for history and refinished antiques; he enjoyed restoring grandfather clocks to their past glory.

I was especially fond of the passage that says when he died he was “sharing his enthusiasm for life with those around him even in his last days.” I know he spent his teaching career “sharing his enthusiasm for life with those around him.” I also liked (as you may imagine) that he was “well educated but unpretentious.” He was a good guy and I was fortunate to know him. I’ll put a couple of his parables in a future post.

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Posted in Flowers, Fun, Rivers | 5 Comments

At a SNAIL’s pace!

Posted on May 5, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

5 May, 2013 At a SNAIL’s pace!

Since I’ve been so slow since my last blog post I thought this would be the perfect picture to start this post. I took it at Pony Pasture earlier this week:

Pony Pasture snail

If I’d ever thought about taking a picture of a snail before, I’m sure I would have thought hey, how hard can that be? I mean, it’s a snail. They move so slow it’s almost as easy as taking a picture of pavement. But I almost never see an actual live, moving snail, or not in a place with decent light. But there this guy was. Unless he’s a she. In any event, I enjoyed the picture. I hope you do.

I got another picture I enjoyed recently, an image of a green heron. Look at that background – doesn’t it look primitive? Like it’s in some jungle somewhere? Hard to believe that’s inside the city limits of the capital of the twelfth largest state in the country. Pony Pasture, of course:

Green heron at Pony Pasture

I also got some decent moon pictures since my last post. That was on April 16. So you can see the progression, I’ll post the first one I took, on April 13. All of the pictures were taken at around the same time each night, roughly between 9:30 and 10:00. The first is on the evening of April 13, then 4/16, 4/17, 4/18, 4/21, 4/23 and 4/25. The precise full moon for this April was on Thursday the 25th at 3:58 PM.

4/13 – 12% full

4/16 – 36% full

4/17 – 45% full

4/18 – 55% full

4/21 – 83% full

4/23 – 96% full

4/25 – 100% full

I’ve had flowers on the last few blog posts. But they’re still so nice. My lilacs still smell and look stunning. If I closed my eyes and stuck my face in one or the other, I don’t know if I’d be able to tell the difference between a white lilac or a purple lilac. They both look and smell heavenly:

Spectacularly fragrant and spectacularly beautiful white lilac

Equally spectacular purple lilac

Pictures I found while working on this post – a buddy took this one at PP:

Brown lizard on a log at PP

These cormorants and turtles were swarming a mid-river rock:

Cormorants and turtles at mid-river

As I’m posting I’m realizing – the lizard, the turtles, the cormorants – all taken on the day that full moon was rising. I took this picture the same day:

All that bug could see was purple

Well, this post is already far too large. But I haven’t put up pictures of Mackey and Turner lately. Most pictures with them are at the river. Here are two en route:

Dog is my copilot #1: Mackey

Dog is my copilot #2: Turner

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I’m always gratified to see the effect of music on the people I spend time with. The first person I ever began to work with around twenty years ago had a slight developmental delay that caused him to struggle with some challenges at work. He fell into a depression and his family asked me to spend some time with him. One of the things we did together was go to a music therapist his family knew. I just looked at my notes from spending time with him in 1994. Hard to believe that was nineteen years ago. We were in the living room at this woman’s house, the music therapist, and the two of them sat on the bench at the piano:

“Jesus loves me

This I know

For the Bible

Tells me so

God is so good

Is so good to me”

His depression gradually resolved. We hung out for years and years. We don’t get together regularly but I just spoke with him last week. He’s doing great.

Soon I was spending time with a buddy with CP. He can’t walk or talk. But he loved to ride in his van and listen to music and kiss every girl he saw. Teachers, therapists, doctors, nurses, toll booth attendants, they were all the same to him. The song Kiss by (the artist known at that time as) “Prince” came on the radio and my buddy with CP would sit there in his wheelchair kissing along with enthusiasm. I’ll put a link to a video of it here; listen quick if you want to hear it – Prince doesn’t leave videos on the web long: Kiss. If the video’s gone by the time you click that link, or if you just want to see the wikipedia take on it, look here: Kiss. I spent a few days each week with that guy from 1995 until 2009 when he moved to NC. He was in Richmond visiting a week ago and we got to hang out a couple of times. If anything he’s become more charming. He was fifteen when I first met him and he’s thirty-four now. I know a lot of people but I don’t know any with as many girlfriends as he has.

That guy has a hard time talking but he can say “Hi!” very clearly and cheerfully. There was a song by Tone Loc called Funky Cold Medina and in one verse the singer meets a girl (he thinks she’s a girl) who says “Hi, my name is Sheena.” Every time we’d hear that song and she’s say “Hi” my buddy would say “Hi!” as if she was standing right there.

In 2000 I began spending time with a person with autism. We’ve been together ever since. He doesn’t talk but he also loves music. He likes things to be predictable and he is particularly fond of Paul Simon. We listen to the album Negotiations and Love Songs every week. Fortunately I’m fond of it too – I now know every track by heart.

I met another guy with autism a few years later and spent a lot of time with him. His name was Lou and he was a huge James Taylor fan. That may not be completely accurate; he’s a huge fan of the James Taylor song How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You. We’d listen to that song over and over again. I started singing very loudly “How sweet it is to be loved by LOU!!!” whenever it was on. Which it always was. He was in elementary school and I’d pick him up after school once each week. As soon as he’d get in the car he wouldn’t say hello – he’d shout “How sweet it is to be loved by LOU!!!” My signal to start the music.

I worked with a girl for a few years who had an unusual variant of autism. She was chatty and friendly and could say hello in every language I ever heard. If she didn’t know how, she’d ask the person. She was fascinated with dogs but barking caused her a great deal of anxiety. There’s a song called Been Caught Stealing by Jane’s Addiction and at the beginning you can hear dogs barking – presumably chasing thieves. She wanted to hear the barking part over and over and over again. Since it was contained and she could turn it up or down or off and control the condition – which you can’t with a dog.

I’ve got another buddy with autism. We’ve been hanging out regularly for several years. He can’t tell you this in these words, but he understands that, through youtube, my iphone can play every song ever sung. So we’ll be driving along very quietly and he’ll suddenly say (to cite one example) “Jay, do you have ‘Mike and the Mechanics’?” Or whatever comes into his head that day. The song he wants to hear when he’s talking about Mike and the Mechanics is In The Living Years. Insert any artist. He’s very fond of the theme song from Mister Rogers Neighborhood and likes to say “Hi neighbor!” at the end. Earlier in this post I mentioned another buddy enjoying a song by Prince. Last week I was eating lunch at Martins with this guy who loves music so much. 1999 by Prince came on while we were eating. He immediately said “Prince is a MAN!” I’ve jotted down a selection of his favorites over the years. I have no idea where he comes up with this stuff. Check out his playlist –

Mike and the Mechanics – In the Living Years

T Rex – Bang a Gong

The Chiffons – He’s So Fine

The Band – The Weight

Men Without Hats – Safety Dance

Nancy Sinatra – These Boots Are Made For Walking

Pink Floyd – Another Brick in the Wall

Captain and Tennille – Love Will Keep Us Together

Electric Light Orchestra – Hold On Tight

Huey Lewis – Do You Believe in Love?

Carl Douglas – Kung Fu Fighting

Johnny Rivers – Secret Agent Man

John Cougar Mellencamp – Hurts So Good

Phil Collins – Susudio

Don Henley – Dirty Laundry

Jerry Lee Lewis – Great Balls of Fire

Robbin Thompson – Sweet Virginia Breeze

I spend time with another guy who is pretty anxious. He likes to listen to REM so he has his own playlist. It helps him stay calm. I think that’s what I like about music too.

All best,

Jay

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Posted in Dogs, Flowers, Fun, People, Rivers, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 6 Comments

Froggie

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

16 April, 2013 Froggie

I’ve never based (to my recollection) an entire blog post on one picture. But I got a nice shot yesterday and at least to me it was worth going on a blog post. I was hiking with a buddy at Bryan Park and this American bullfrog (Rana catesbeiana) was sitting still on a log in the water. Not jumping out of our way, I think because the air was cool and the water too and he was in no hurry to leave. I think that’s a male. Because (as I learned on wikipedia) his tympanum (sort of like an eardrum) is a little larger than his eyes. But don’t bet your house on that.

If you take the lens cap off your camera and press the button as often as I do, you’re bound to get at least a picture or two that you really enjoy. This is one of those pictures:

What a handsome bullfrog

And as Evie pointed out, lots of things make me think of songs. This picture called to mind a 1995 song called (unsurprisingly) Froggie by an alternative band called The Presidents of the United States of America. The video is cheerful and silly and fun and G-rated and you’ll use up three minutes and nineteen precious seconds of your life watching it but it’s time well spent: Froggie

A couple of things make photography easier this time of year. Better light makes better photographs – period – and the light is really getting gorgeous. Also the leaves are off the trees so things are much brighter. And at least here in Richmond there are flowers everywhere. As pointed out in my previous post. More flowers on this post, since I don’t get tired of them. I hope you don’t either. My blog host (wordpress.org) sends me information about searches that send people to my blog. I got a lot of searches last year on “inchworms.” But I also get an inordinate (in my view) number of searches on the phrase “white lilacs” which surprises me. My mother loves white lilacs and so do I so I include them anyway. My purple lilacs are almost (but not quite) fully in bloom. The white ones are running a little behind, either because they’re in a little more shade or maybe just a different variety. Evelyn perfumed our house with hyacinths from the yard last week; this week the lilacs are coming in. Here is a purple lilac:

April beauty

And here is the beginning of a white lilac:

Delicious smelling and beautiful white lilac

More later, when they’re in full bloom.

I also took a nice picture of a somewhat new moon on April 13. I’ve perhaps mentioned I have an app called “MoonPhase” that provides interesting information about what the moon is doing at any given time. If you’re unaware, a lunar cycle lasts just about 29.5 days. That’s from one new moon (you can’t see it) to the next. The full moon occurs around half way through the cycle, or at a little over 14 days. This moon was 3 days and 15 hours old, approximately 12% full:

Three day old moon. Fun picture. You can tell it’s “waxing” or growing because it’s light on the right side.

I should have put all these together. But the same day I took the picture of the bullfrog at Bryan Park I got this average picture of a mockingbird:

Somewhat inscrutable. I don’t think he’s irate. Just gazing.

As well as this dogwood. Redbuds and red maples and dogwoods are tied for my favorite tree:

A graceful dogwood at Bryan Park. “Graceful” may be one word too many before “dogwood” – they’re all graceful.

The fourth picture I took on Monday (after the frog, the mockingbird and the dogwood) was this mourning dove standing on a little sandbar in the creek. Like many birds, mourning doves use grit in their digestive system to help break down the fiber in the seeds they eat. This mourning dove I’m sure was wetting his or her whistle and getting some sand:

Mourning dove observing.

I have a couple more pictures to round out this post, including one more flower, this cheerful buttercup:

A bright buttercup. I believe that’s the only kind of buttercup.

And this somewhat unusual picture from the river last week. A relatively small rock in the middle of the river with a relatively large cormorant and two relatively large turtles. It looks like all three are waiting for something. Or listening to or looking at the same thing. Odd:

Attentive reptiles and bird

Anyway, enjoy and have a great day. Hopefully another post up before long. All best,
Jay

Posted in Flowers, Fun, People, Rivers | 12 Comments

“The Flowers Bloom Like Madness in the Spring”

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

11 April, 2013 “The Flowers Bloom Like Madness in the Spring”

That’s a line lifted from the title track of the 1971 Jethro Tull album Aqualung. I was at Pony Pasture this fine April morning with Mackey and Turner and the flowers were blooming like madness everywhere we turned. The first picture I took wasn’t a flower at all. It was this brand new pawpaw sprouting from the riverbank:

A brand new pawpaw

We only walked a little farther when we stepped into a riot of wildflowers. Most striking was this daffodil. They’re nearly finished, but you could tell it was feeling great in that cool morning sun:

Getting my fill of daffodils while I can

If I’d sat down in front of that patch of daffodils I could have reached out and touched this:

There was only one kind of flower at the river today – the beautiful kind

And this:

Same kind as identified in the previous picture

And this:

See what I mean? They’re all the same.

I didn’t sit down, of course – I kept walking. The flowers were still blooming like madness. We hadn’t walked two more minutes when we encountered this patch. I should have backed away to show the size of the patch – a 4’ x 8’ sheet of plywood couldn’t cover it. But this was a cheerful corner:

A colorful corner

Some people think I don’t obsess on things. I don’t obsess on a lot of things but when I do I go overboard. Which I suppose is why they call it obsessing. I thought these redbuds were never going to appear. Redbuds are a flower on a tree, not a flower like a daffodil or a violet. But what a relief when I walked out in the field at PP this morning and finally saw them:

So, so fresh.

They’re quite small, by the way. A fully mature redbud flower is not larger than a pea. You don’t get an idea of the size from that picture.

I’ve been doing the same hike at PP for close to fifteen years now, typically twice a week, year round. I take the same route each time. It’s about 2.5 miles long and takes an hour, more or less. I always take the same route for a few reasons. It covers most of the park for one. If the dogs get lost, they always know where to find me is another. Third, I don’t have to think – it’s much easier to meditate when you can just saunter. Anyone who has ever done that walk with me knows that just after the field at PP I take a left into a beautiful little pine grove. The grove is small but the trees are large. There were a handful of flowers there too, but this bright display was what really caught my eye:

THAT is one handsome bird.

I’m not a huge perfectionist, but there are a couple of things I don’t like about that image. I don’t like that I cut the tip off his tail. And I don’t like that branch in front of him. But the pose is unusual, and his red looks spectacular with those fresh green leaves and the gray bark and the pale blue of the out-of-focus sky in the background. Somehow that picture just worked for me. I hope you enjoy it too.

Except for that handsome guy, this walk and this blog post were more flora than fauna. But in addition to that cardinal I did see at least one more nice looking animal:

I've put pictures of smiling dogs up here before. He's Mackey's sure smiling in this one.

I’ve put pictures of smiling dogs up here before. Mackey’s sure smiling in this one.

I got one last picture on the way out, a pretty bluebell. This picture is lower quality than I normally like to put up; I’ll get a better one soon. But bluebells are so pretty:

Beautiful bluebell

I have song lyrics running through my head all the time, and Evie suggested I include some in my posts. When I was thinking about my next post, I was thinking about a different song. Then I got to PP and all I could think was “The flowers bloom like madness in the spring.” Aqualung is not a cheerful song or album but that line was right on target for this morning.

Have a great day,

Jay

Posted in Dogs, Flowers, Fun, Rivers, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 7 Comments

Magical World/Rocketship Underpants

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

5 April, 2013 Magical World/Rocketship Underpants

Today (April 5, 2013) is the 25th anniversary of my accident. That’s a long time. Only a few readers of this blog knew me before that. For reasons I am unsure of, I’ve thought more of my late father today than any other particular subject. None of it’s been maudlin or disheartening, but I’ve thought of him a lot.

Dad only took a few things seriously – but definitely not himself. Above all he took raising a family seriously. By all accounts, he and my mother have been successful. He took his work seriously. I’ve often quoted Woody Allen in this blog saying “eighty percent of success is showing up.” Dad always showed up. Throughout his career, and at the Rescue Squad. If I’d ever been hurt and an ambulance with my Dad on the crew showed up, I’d be relieved. If my Dad was there, you were going to get taken care of the right way. Dad took The Golden Rule seriously, I think more seriously than anyone else I’ve ever known. But I never heard him, and I guarantee you never did either, say anything about “The Golden Rule.” Or about “do unto others” or any other niceties or elegant phrases. Dad lived it, which in my mind is the only way to truly take it seriously.

But Dad didn’t take himself seriously. He loved cartoons, especially Calvin and Hobbes. For years the signoff on his emails said: “It’s a magical world, Hobbes … Let’s go exploring!”.

He had this cartoon framed and hanging in the living room:

But sitting on my desk beside me – as I type this, on April 5, 2013 – I have a printed copy of an email from Dad from May of 1998. He was having computer problems. His email signoff that day said “You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.”

Anyway, hopefully this isn’t overdoing it, I’m just moved to put a brief blog post up. It’s been a great 25 years. One quick picture today. I was down at the train tracks with a buddy the day before yesterday. A big coal train was leaving as we were arriving. Housing starts were up in that region; I saw this construction worker:

Have a great day,

Jay

Posted in Fun, People, Smiles (including "dog smiles"!) | 18 Comments

“Sprint” distance/”Ironman™” pace

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Jay McLaughlin

2 April, 2013 “Sprint” distance, “Ironman™” pace

Another quick post today, what the heck. I snapped myself out of my post-winter training funk with a quick one person triathlon. I swam a mile at the Y, drove to a local office park and rode my bike ten miles then jogged three more. More precise distances and times:

swim: 1,600 meters 0:37:16 pace: 2:19/100

T1: 0:40:22 (had to drive to bike start)

bike: 9.89 miles 0:35:42 pace: 16.6 mph

T2: 0:04:29

run: 3.06 miles 0:38:02 pace: 12:25/mile

total: 13.94 miles 2:36:01

My swim course:

The pool – Tuckahoe YMCA – Richmond, VA – I swam on the far right

My bike course (really just my bike on the car at West Creek, where I rode):

Bike on car, pre- or post-ride today at West Creek

This link shows a map of my bike course. plus speed, etc.: bike leg

This is my run course. OK, it’s me, sitting by the lake after my run. It’s the same lake that’s on the bike course:

Relaxing post “race”

It was an easy and fun way to kick off training. Low pressure and enjoyable.

Have a great day,

Jay

PS If you’re not a triathlete – “Sprint” distance races are really short. Like this. You’re supposed to go fast. “Ironman™” distance races are really long. You’re supposed to pace yourself for a long day. Today I did an extremely short distance at a very leisurely pace. And boy did I enjoy it.

Posted in Endurance, Fun | Tagged Endurance, outdoors | Leave a comment

NEWFAZE

I get by with a little help from my friends

What are the odds…

Summer and more (a lot more)

Spring Madness Revisited

Flowers, birds, bugs and more

At a SNAIL’s pace!

Froggie

“The Flowers Bloom Like Madness in the Spring”

Magical World/Rocketship Underpants

“Sprint” distance/”Ironman™” pace

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